If I were you
by Cervella
Summary: "... I would make Natsu pregnant." In which dares bring both couples closer than they'd like.
1. I'd make Natsu pregnant

Hello people of the Internet :D I'm back with another story. How are you doing? I'm fine except for slowly turning into a shipping looney. It's because I got my inspiration for this story from a regular TV show that has nothing to do with NaLu what-so-ever. Scary right? I found myself randomly thinking about my OTP while watching and BAM here is a new story. Well _and _because it's NaLu Week soon. Since I missed it last year, I felt obligated to dish something out this year. This is just a sneak peak though, the rest will be (hopefully) published from the 1st-7th July.

**Disclaimer: **I own Fairy Tail. Seriously, I do ... sigh ... Fine then, have it your way. I lied.

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**If I were you ...**

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"For the love of god, Gray, are you trying to kill me?"

With a lazy roll of his eyes, said guy shoved the offensive glass into her hands. Lucy eyed the murky brown liquid with a mix of apprehension and disgust. A nasty smell burned her nose and it took all of the resistance she could muster not to empty the contents of her stomach on what was left of Gray's clothes. Really, it was just his pants.

"It won't kill you. It's just a mix of whiskey, vodka, root beer, strawberry milk, raw eggs, my spit and some of Elfman's sweat. It's really no big deal."

Where did he even get all that? Gray had a shit-eating grin on his face that clearly spelled trouble for her. The blond knew exactly what he was going to say next and dreaded it already. "And if I were you, I would chug that down."

Lucy groaned and fixed her tormentor with a pointed glare. She narrowed her eyes for the _Erza effect_, but he didn't seem impressed. Why did she even agree to play this stupid game? Yeah right, how could she possibly forget, he found out about her secret love interest. Just her luck. "You'll regret this one."

Squeezing her eyes closed, the celestial mage hoped that the drink would magically disappear from her shaking hands. Well, there was no going back on her word or her secret would be spilled. With three big gulps, Lucy downed the liquid, ignoring the itchy feeling in her throat. When she slammed the empty glass back on the wooden table, she tried not to think about its contents. Elfman's sweat … Gray's spit. Keyword, _tried_. Dammit.

The next thing the poor girl knew, her head was greeting the toilet. Strands of blond hair clung to her forehead as she revisited her dinner. Meanwhile Gray was rubbing soothing circles across her back, probably feeling some well-deserved guilt.

"I told you it would kill me," she managed to mutter between gags. "Now see what you did."

"Well, you could've just admitted defeat," he quipped and laughed slightly. "Then we wouldn't be sitting here."

In a sense he was right. It was hard for her to admit, but Lucy was a huge coward when it came to these things. Confessing her unrequired feelings to the densest person on the planet, had her guts in thousand knots. Hell, she felt more comfortable chugging some random shit. Usually, Lucy wore her feelings on her sleeve, but concerning the love for her best friend it was the opposite.

"Why me."

Her stomach twisted again and her life flashed past her as soon as she closed her eyes. One particular moment stood out from the rest.

One night at the guild, Gray and her had a couple of drinks. At the beginning everything was fine and they were simply having a nice chat. But somewhere along the ninth mug of beer, Lucy was being more honest than she'd have liked. Alcohol, the root of all evil. Luckily, Gray had been in the same state of mind. So at some point their conversation was centred around a pink-haired dragon slayer and a clingy water mage.

"Seriously, Juvia is all over you. Why don't you just get it over with and tell her how you feel?" The Lucy from the past slurred her words and raised an eyebrow at her friend. "You'll be together in no time. In fact, if I were you I would do it right now!"

"Easy for you to say." Past Gray hiccuped and poured himself a fresh mug. "If I were you, I would tell that stupid flame moron that you love him. Otherwise, he'll never notice the difference between guys and chicks. That idiot still believes that dragons bring the babies to their parents."

"So that's why he had been all over Alzack and Bisca when we got back." The sudden epiphany made Lucy speechless, but a drunken mind can only focus on so little at the same time. Not wanting to dwell on her love-life any further, she searched for a way to distract him. "And if I were you, I'd wear some clothes."

As if a light-bulb went off in his head, Gray looked down only to meet his naked glory. "W-when did that happen?!"

"How would I know?"

He crawled beneath the bench to look for his pants, only to find that they were gone. When his head popped up again, he turned to Lucy with a smile. "If I were you, I would led me your pants."

"Whaaat?! No way in hell, pervert!" Past Lucy felt strangely reminded of their first encounter. Apparently Gray hadn't changed a bit.

"Oh really?" A wicked grin stretched his thin lips and black eyes shone with mischief. "Oi, flame brain, Lucy's got to tell you –"

The girl shut him up with a swift kick to his face. Whimpering, the ice-make mage covered back in his seat, holding the mug in front of his body for defence. Lucy towered over him, a dark aura manifesting around her. "If you dare say a word to him, Juvia will know about your feelings faster than Erza can bash your brain out of your head."

"A-aye ma'am. I get it, there is nothing in it for both of us," Gray mumbled and judging by his quivering body he was still intimidated by her sudden change of character. "So how about we make a deal?"

Lucy sighed but was curious enough to listen. At least, his ideas didn't end disastrous unlike those of a certain dragon slayer she knew. (Oh how wrong her past self had been.) Besides, there might be a chance for her to hook Gray and Juvia up. Now that she knew their feelings were mutual. Maybe she'd ask Mira for help.

"Or no, it's more like a dare game. One of us poses a dare to the other and the person has to complete it. If they can't do it or refuse to, they have to confess their feelings to the person they like. It's the best way to secure that our secret stays safe."

Still having the alcohol tuning the reasonable part of her brain out, it was a perfect idea in Past Lucy's mind. That way, she could get Gray and Juvia together. No more spiked teas and creepy glances from the latter. Moreover, I'd take her mind off Natsu and her ever-growing feelings. She smiled excitedly.

"You've got yourself a deal."

"Great!" Gray beamed back. "Then let's start: If I were you, I'd lend me your pants."

"Was this whole game set-up about you wanting to have my pants?" She yelled angrily, gaining some confused looks from her fellow guild mates. Out of the context, that sounded really wrong. Luckily, they were too busy with themselves since another guild brawl had just started. Gray threw nervous glances in the general direction of a scarlet haired demon, but even Erza was occupied. Giving Gajeel a bloody nose for ruining her cake, if you want to know.

"Are you gonna give up _this_ soon?"

On the con side, he was going to abuse the freedom of making her do anything. On the pro side, she could do the same and play matchmaker as a side quest. Grumbling, Lucy fumbled with the button of her jean-shorts and hesitantly took them off. The good thing was that she had decided to wear a long top, so no butt flashing that evening. Gray took them and covered himself.

She grinned childishly. This was going to be a lot of fun. "It's my turn."

And that was how she got into this mess. The next couple of days, the pair continued to force each other into things. While some dares were hilarious, some were plain disgusting much like the drink Lucy just had. After a while, the dares proved to become more difficult but _never_ impossible. It was like an unspoken rule between them.

"I feel like crap," Lucy croaked as they walked back into the guild hall and towards the wild banter. Gray didn't respond but made sure she wouldn't trip over her own wobbly feet. When they made it to their table, she slumped in her seat. "But it's time to get my revenge. If I were you, I'd sit on Juvia's lap for at least five minutest. And for the record, you're not allowed to answer any questions or talk at all."

For a moment it looked like Gray contemplated avoiding her dare, but he had something at stake as well. Lucy groaned, it's not like Juvia would reject him. Hell, the girl was head over heels. But it seemed like Gray really wanted to get to know her, which was almost impossible with her fainting all the time.

"You've been hanging around Mira too long," the ice wizard ground out between his teeth. She just smiled evilly and waved him goodbye. Awkwardly and with the hint of a blush colouring his face, Gray stood in front of Juvia's table. He send a pleading glance over his shoulder, hoping for Lucy to take the dare back. Nope, no chance.

To say Juvia was suprised by the sudden weight on her lap was an understatement. She barely suppressed a yelp when she noticed it was her beloved Gray-sama. Not only that but they had successfully gained the attention of the rest of Fairy Tail. The looks the couple recieved had Lucy in tears.

"G-gray-sama s-sitting on my l-lap. Is this a confession?" Those were Juvia's last words before she passed out with a fangirl nosebleed and a dreamy look on her face. This only added to Gray's discomfort. A guy sitting on a girls lap, the switched roles raised a lot of questions.

"Oi, ice princess. Whatcha doin' there?"

"Sitting on girls in unmanly."

"Ara, ara what an unexpected development."

"He llllikes her."

"Ne Gray-ni-san, I think you are squishing her."

"Oh ho ho, youngsters these day. Was about time thoe brats made a move on each other."

"Get a room you two! I wanna drink in peace."

"Gihi I didn't think the ice princess wanted to be the girl in the relationship."

"Gray, you better back away from Juvia now unless you want to face my wrath."

Lucy watched Gray suck in a deep breath of air, probably struggling to keep his mouth shut with all the comments and Erza's sharp swords. Particularly Gajeels provocation seemed to get to him, since his face turned an odd shape of red and the air turned a few degree colder. Lucky for him, five minutes passed soon and he could avoid being pieced to death by a thousand swords.

Watching him running in circles to dodge Erza was hilarious and a great satisfaction. He deserved it for making her drink that crap. Besides, it's not like her dare was that bad. She could have dared him to do more provocative things. Hmm, maybe later. Heavy breathing interrupted Lucy's evil plans and she turned around to meet angry black eyes. Gray's dark aura promised some bad abusage of the 'if I were you' game.

"Glad that you had your fun," he commented nochalantly. Lucy hated how their roles switched so quickly. "Since you brought Juvia into play, I guess that means flame brain isn't off limits either."

Oh crap. Did she just hear right?

"You heard right." Gray grinned and pointed at the pink-haired dragonslayer who was currently wrestling Gajeel. "If I were you, I would make Natsu pregnant."

Remember that unspoken rule to never make a dare impossible? Psch, forget rules. In Fairy Tail they are just guidelines anyway.

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**To Be Continued ...**

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Ah, couldn't help the Pirates of the Carribean reference there :P Well, how do you like this set up for a story? I didn't plan in to be long at all. Seven chapters will be enough (since NaLu week is a week, duh.) I know this had more Gruvia than NaLu in it. I promise there will be more NaLu in the future.

Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. Maybe with a dare you want me to include ;) I'm open for ideas and/or promps. It's the first time I do this, so let's hope it'll work out. Have an amazing day! :'D


	2. I'd hold hands with Juvia

Hey guys :) I'm sorry for the delay, but blame my computer. Or better yet, my word program since it deleted a lot of my stories (new chaps) and I had to re-write this from scratch. I hate technology sometimes. I don't even know what exactly happened, just that everything was suddenly gone. Computer issues ruin my plans -.- And once they work smoothly, you get a virus or something. Anyhow, I hope you're enjoying NaLu week.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own stuff.

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**If I were you ...**

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Lucy felt like a Juvia impostor, watching her love interest aka prey wrestle some poor guild mate to the floor. All the while, she was lurking in the shadow behind a pillar, plotting her victims pregnancy. Oh, how wrong that sounded. Not that the blonde minded the view of sun-kissed muscles stretching deliciously as the dragon slayer delivered his final blow. Still, doing it all in secret felt rather scandalous and out-right inappropriate. What had the guy done to her … she slowly became one of those obsessed school girls whom she hated so much.

"Muhahaha I told ya that I could knock ya out in under a minute!" Natsu towered over an unconscious blue heap (which barely resembled Max) and stroke a victory pose.

Lucy turned around to Gray who had his eyebrow raised, silently requesting her to get a move on. Curse that guy. He was the root of all her problems. Well, second to a certain dragon slayer. Speaking of him … How in the world was she supposed to make him pregnant?! This dare was impossible in every way. Natsu wasn't even a girl, although Gray often begged to differ since his rival sported some lovely pink hair. But that wasn't the point.

Groaning frustrated, Lucy went through her options in hope to find some kind of loophole. No such luck. This only meant one thing … confessing her probably unrequired feelings. Natsu, that moron, didn't even know what love was. Maybe that meant he would just let it slide as one of 'Lucy's weird moments'. Still, the blonde wasn't sure she'd want that either.

There was no more room for stalling, so she slowly left the security of the pillar and walked towards her demise. Sigh. She should make plans to leave Fiore after this and bury herself in a hole in Bosco.

"N-Natsu … do you h-have a minute … I need to –"

"Lusheey! Where have you been? Did ya see how I knocked him out? It was awesome," he yelled excitedly as he jumped towards her.

Lucy shook her head to get rid of her blush, feeling the curious stares from Gray and a certain bar maid on her back. Well, here goes nothing …

"Yeah that was great."

Against her will, she fidgeted in her place thereby earning a confused glance from the dragon slayer. Everything suddenly felt incredibly hot and the blonde probably looked like a tomato by now. To make matters worse, awkward silence hung heavily in the air and she swore there was a cricket chirping somewhere. "I-I've been meaning to tell you … you know … I ..."

"Asuka! Come back here, honey. The guild brawls are still too dangerous for you." Bisca's worried voice interrupted her as the young mother chased after her hyperactive child.

"But Mommy, I wanna play with everyone. It's more fun that way." Asuka giggled happily and dodged her mother attempts to catch her. Clutching her toy gun in one tiny hand, the girl jumped towards Lucy and clung to her leg. "Please Lucy-nee, can you play with me?"

Yup, the celestial mage just found her loophole. A plan took form in her head, it wasn't solid but better than nothing. Lucy felt bad for using a child to her advantage, but just thinking about confessing made her freeze in fear.

"Oh Natsu ~ Nevermind what I said earlier. Can you do me a favor?"

Natsu shivered in response and started sweating. He knew that look she gave him and a mischievous Lucy was never a good sign. Cautiously, he looked from Lucy to Asuka and back. "Am I in trouble? I swear I wasn't me!"

"Oh don't you worry, I just want you to play a game with Asuka-chan and me." Lucy knew she had him already because as soon as the word 'game' left her lips, his ten-thousand-watt smile lit his face up. She simply loved that smile and how it showed his canines off. It made her light-headed and almost made her forget her plan.

"Nice. What are we playin' ?"

"We're going to play house. Asuka-chan is the daughter, I'm her sister and you are going to be her new mommy," Lucy established matter-of-factually, not leaving any room for protest.

"Why do I have to be the mom? I'm a guy, you know?!" Natsu yelled embarrassed and confused, causing some laughter to rise in the guild. Soon though, he came to a conclusion though. Pouting, he crossed his arms over his chest in defense. "This is about my hair again, isn't it? I've told you that it's freakin' red. You've been hanging around ice princess for too long."

"Yay! Natsu is my mommy!"

"Gihi, flame brain that means bunny girl wants your babies."

"I don't care, it's supposed to be the other way around. I ain't doing it!"

"Aw ~ don't be a party pooper. Asuka-chan agrees with me, right?" The girl's confirming laugh was everything Lucy needed to make him cave in. "Alright, now be quiet and just do me this favor. But before we can play house, the mommy has to become pregnant and bear my little sister."

Ignoring his splutters of protest, Lucy lifted his worn-out shirt and tried to fit Asuka beneath it.

"N-no stop it … ahh … that tickles … Lucy what in the – "

Luckily, Natsu chose to wear this shirt today or she'd have trouble with the realization of her idea. In a matter of minutes, Asuka was clutching to her new mommy's chest like a baby and Lucy felt a small degree of envy bubbling up in her stomach. She wouldn't mind cuddling into his soft chest as well. Bad imagination, don't go there. Still, the blush was already there and the blonde really hoped nobody would notice.

Taking a step back, Lucy inspected her work with pride. She ignored the annoyed stare from the dragon slayer and smoothed the wrinkled on his shirt to create a well-rounded baby belly. Mission accomplished. Natsu was officially pregnant and didn't seem too please by the development.

"Come on, being pregnant is not that bad." Feeling playful, Lucy winked at him and patted his shoulder. The guy really endured a lot for her sake. "And don't worry, the pain of child-birth is only about a day's worth."

Lucy giggled when his jaw dropped to the ground. She could practically see the gears in his head turning and twisting to find the right come-back. The rest of the guild was in tears by now, Gray leading them with an uncontrollable outburst of laughter.

"You are getting weirder everyday, you know." Natsu narrowed his eyes, but his twitching lips betrayed his amusement.

Lucy couldn't even argue with him, so she just gave him a warm smile. The blonde knew that she liked him way too much to be considered 'normal' best buddies, but she wasn't ready to confess anything yet. This was fine by her, but she'd really kill Gray if he pulls something like that again. Speaking of Gray, it was her turn to torture – pose a dare. Oh, the sweet and bitter smell of revenge was in the air and Lucy felt her evil side resurface.

Waving a quick 'goodbye' to Natsu and Asuka, she returned to where her victim – friend sat. Her sudden presence ripped him out of his glee and reduced his laugh to a nervous, quivering smile. "Well played. I honestly thought I won and this dare would make you confess."

"It's not going to be that easy, mister. And I guess it's my turn now … " Gray gulped and nodded, accepting whatever she'd throw at him.

"My dare will have to wait until tomorrow, when we catch the train to Hargeon for that mission," Lucy continued innocently and Gray just knew that something bad was going to come out of her mouth any second. "And if I were you, I'd hold Juvia's hand for the entire train ride. But not without a catch which I'm going to tell you tomorrow."

His eyes (if possible) grew even wider, so that Lucy feared they'd fall out of his head. Gray was already blushing at the thought and sneaked a glance at the still unconscious Juvia. "Fine by me, she is going to pass out on me anyway." He rolled his eyes, but there were still hints of uneasiness in his voice. "I already have my dare for tomorrow as well."

"Oh really? And what is it this time? I swear if it's impossible I'm going to call Erza on you." Lucy crossed her arms over her chest and glared daggers at him.

"It's not impossible this time. It's just … if I were you, I'd cuddle with flame brain for the train ride."

"Are you insane? That guy and transportation are mortal enemies." Lucy would have yelled, but that would only gain unwanted attention. Although hugging Natsu was tempting, she'd rather have a mile between them when they were on a moving vehicle. "Do you want to get puke on my clothes this badly?!"

"Hm I could return the favor and lend you mind or a bucket for him," he quipped and chuckled afterwards. Lucy just pouted at the unfairness of everything. Why were his dares so much worse than hers? The blonde needed to step up her game, if she wanted to hook up Gray and Juvia.

"Urg, fine. I'm just going to make sure he doesn't get any food beforehand." Yeah, like that was possible with Natsu's bottomless pit. "Just don't forget the perk in your dare."

At least the promise of an embarrassed Gray lifted her spirits a little. Hm, Natsu must be rubbing off on her.

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**To Be Continued ...**

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Thanks for the lovely reviews from last chapter :) I know that this one is shorter and might have some typos/mistakes here and there. Please bear with me, I will fix this later on. Oh and don't forget to review if you enjoyed it :'D


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